Chemo done, hopefully my last blog.

Hengistbury Head, end of June

It has felt like forever but I've finally got to the end of my chemotherapy treatment. Hoo-fu****g-ray!  I do genuinely feel elated to have achieved my goal of finishing chemo on schedule without missing a session and still being in one piece at the end of it, scarred and needing a fix for my slightly broken abs but roughly still in one piece.  I have said before that 'I'm looking forward to looking back on it' and here I am feeling relieved and elated, looking back on the whole journey.  The next six paragraphs summarise my experience so far, its been a cathartic exercise and worthy of my final blog.  If it's too much to read just skip to the last two paragraphs.

It all went pair-shaped  back in early November when I had my 'Yellow episode' in Seattle, a painful and debilitating few weeks followed until I was diagnosed with cancer.  I went in for a procedure to remove what was thought to be gall stones and came out with cancer.  That was not a good day. Scans and test followed very quickly to diagnose the extent of the ampullary cancer, waiting for the CT scan results was torture. Not knowing how bad it was made it difficult to deal with, I/we were hoping for at least a plan of treatment rather than palliative care.  It was not as bad as it could have been and a plan of treatment was suggested, a major operation to remove the offending area; a Whipple procedure, aka a pancreatoduodenectomy.

Preparing for the operation opened with a false start, a call in to the hostpital then a 'stand-down',  just to really put us on edge.  The date was finally set for the 12th December, hopefully the day that removed all traces of cancer from me.  I came out the other side of being Whippled, an eight hour operation,  dazed, confused and high on morphine.  Four really tough days in the ICU followed by another four really tough days recovering on the ward.  At one point I had fourteen lines coming out of me and a whole array of machines that went 'ping'.   In the mean time the amount of support from everyone was amazing; messages of encouragement and donations for the LAPRD charity , guessing how many stiches I had and raising around £3K.

Getting my newly plumbed system working again was a big deal, painful and a truly grim experience. Days of pain and frustration followed the operation trying to eat, digest and go for a number 2. I got to the point where I thought I'd use caffeine to get things going a little. A strong coffee has always worked for me and it didn't let me down in hospital, in fact it had a rather drastic effect.  After a strong pot of coffee I exploded both ends simultaneously, unpleasant and painful. My freshly sliced up stomach muscles had to work double time.  Poor Sarah had to witness the whole episode and keep handing me sick bowls.  She was pleased to report 'code brown' on the blog though.  My plan had worked and it got me out of hospital in good time; they won't let you out until your digestion system is working properly. Job done, on to recovery.

Leaving hospital felt such an achievement, I didn't feel in good shape in fact I felt terrible, anaemic, two stones lighter, two plastic drains coming out of my sides and bags to collect the fluid. The early days of recovery at home were tough, sleeping was really difficult and the pain was still crippling, on the positive side my appetite was improving and I was managing to eat reasonable sized portions.  It took me a while to drink tea again mainly due to the stuff that comes out of your pancreas is tea coloured, I had to empty my drainage bag of this coloured fluid every day for a few weeks!

I got the bags removed after several weeks and my recovery was I'm told 'excellent', well ahead of the norm.  The test results had come back and confirmed I had a T2 cancer which had infected 3 out of 7 lymph nodes removed.  The margins of the section that had been cut out was clear of cancer, basically nothing showed up around the edges of the bits removed. Some good news and also potentially bad news, time will tell.  Also, the number of stiches was confirmed as 140, well done Jeff Johnson for a very accurate guess.  

With such a swift recovery from the Whipple operation I was put forward for chemotherapy four weeks early. I started chemo the beginning of Feb, six cycles of four weeks which took me up to 5th July.  After understanding the treatment and the prescribed drugs I was a bit concerned by the list of side effects. As it turns out I've managed pretty well with the side effects all things considered; I've mainly suffered with sore hands and feet, nausea, diarrhoea, anaemia, tiredness, chemo brain and a few other things.  I won't miss being stuck with the scores of needles for blood tests, intravenous drips and hundreds of tablets that make you feel shit.

As I've said in previous blogs, chemo has been tough, very tough, it's had many low points and affected my mental and emotional state at times.  Chemo is a real challenge and a test of character, hopefully not to be repeated. I am so glad to have finished and now have the ability to recover from the operation properly, flush the drugs from my system, sort out this anaemia, get the hernia operation and resume normality or something close to it.  In my first blog I'd hoped this would be a brief encounter with cancer and I'm still hoping that's the case.  Its been a long and tough journey with crucial medical treatment delivered by an amazing team of medical professionals, who I have nothing but admiration and respect for. Although, as much as I admire them I would like to see much less of them from now on in.


So, where to from here?  I had a CT scan on Monday 3rd July and find out the results from the Oncologist on the 10th.  I can't imagine anything but a clear scan at this stage so I'm not too worried at this point.  The scans further down the line will cause a bit more worry (next one early Dec).  The plan is to take a couple of weeks to flush the drugs from my system (with alcohol), get rid of the chemo side effects and start back at work mid August after a fortnight in Cornwall to fully recuperate.  I think it will take a while longer to get back to fully functional, I'm taking it one day at a time and will get there.  Thanks to my lovely wife, family and for everyone's support and encouragement throughout this part of my journey, I hope to raise a glass with you to celebrate looking back on these events.  I am doing just that now. Cheers